Posted 23 hours ago by Christina Chase prayer

Christ Within

Sometimes, I’m scared — scared of the terrible things that can happen in this world, scared of what the future holds. Yes, I’m a Christian who should trust in the Lord. Yes, I know that God is good. But I confess that I struggle with fear.

A friend of mine once reminded me of this passage from Scripture. “Perfect love drives out fear.”[i] She offered it as a comfort to me, but it only made me feel worse, because I understood her in this way: if I love God perfectly, then I will have no fear.

I do not love God perfectly. How can I ever hope to? I am very far from perfect. Necessarily so, because I’m human, naturally flawed in this fallen world. Even when my spirit is willing, my flesh is very weak (and I don’t just mean from my motor neuron disease). I love the Lord, I want to love Him perfectly. But I fall so very short.

At some point, I began to think about the Bible verse a little differently. God is love. God is perfect. So what is perfect love? Who is perfect love? Perhaps, the meaning of this Scripture passage is that God — who is Perfect Love — drives out fear. If I truly let God love me, as I have written about many times before, then knowing that I am being loved by God and allowing His love to live through my entire being, my entire life, responding as best as I can — God will drive my fears out of me. If my heart is full of God’s love, and there will be no room for fear.

But… How do I let God love me? How will my heart be full of God’s love with no room for fear?

Presence. I need to be present with God. I need to make myself available to His Spirit. How do I do that?

Prayer.

And that answer is not as simplistic as it may sound.

Praying

Yes, I need to ask for God’s grace. I need the Holy Spirit to purify my heart and guide me through my life. And, yes, I certainly can and should ask God to fill my heart with His love and drive out all fear. But when God comes to fill my heart, I need to be present, I need to open up my heart to Him. I can’t just issue an invitation in a prayer of petition, that’s it, all done. I need to be ready, willing, able to open the door, through God’s grace, and, on opening the door of my heart, welcoming the Spirit within the depths of my soul.

Is my prayer life hospitable? Am I welcoming, or merely talking? Am I actively asking without actively receiving?

Thankfully, though it sounds like something complicated, like there’s some secret formula for the proper kind of prayer, it’s really as easy as love. (We know how “easy” love can be.)

This is how St. Thérèse of Lisieux understands prayer:

“For me, prayer is a surge of the heart; it is a simple look turned toward heaven, it is a cry of recognition and of love, embracing both trial and joy.”[ii]

The thing is … I know what St. Thérèse means, because I’ve experienced that kind of prayer, that surge of the heart, that looking up with love in both happy and difficult situations. I have truly come to know of God’s existence, and I love Him.

Yet, the fear has remained.

Loving

In reading about prayer in the Catechism[iii] along with the podcast by Fr. Mike Schmidt, I’m learning the deep, deep, vital importance of prayer life. It’s not a matter of praying when I “feel” the inspiration swelling up inside of me, just as is not a matter of only praying formal prayers. Both kinds of praying are good. But there’s more to prayer. Just as there’s more to love than acts of duty or the warm and fuzzies.

I want to pray the following prayer of St. John Vianney, the Curé of Ars. Because this is something I desire with my heart and soul, then it a grace for which I will be praying to receive as I pray it to God with love:

“I love you, O my God, and my only desire is to love you until the last breath of my life. I love you, O my infinitely lovable God, and I would rather die loving you, than live without loving you. I love you, Lord, and the only grace I ask is to love you eternally. . . . My God, if my tongue cannot say in every moment that I love you, I want my heart to repeat it to you as often as I draw breath.”

My whole being filled with love by the grace of God, who is Perfect Love. No room for fear as He perfects love within me.

As we celebrate Christmas this year, when Perfect Love was born into the world, let us truly, intentionally, heartfully welcome Christ into our hearts — this is not just a pretty sentiment.

Feature Photo by Cherry Laithang on Unsplash

[i] 1 John 4:18

[ii] Manuscrits autobiographiques, C 25r.

[iii] Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraph 2558 onward

Christina Chase View All

Although crippled by disease, I'm fully alive in love. I write about the terrible beauty and sacred wonder of life, while living with physical disability and severe dependency. A revert to the Catholic faith through atheism, I'm not afraid to ask life's big questions. I explore what it means to be fully human through my weekly blog and have written a book: It's Good to Be Here, published by Sophia Institute Press.