A Nest of Dryness
I began this blog to document my spiritual journey, consecrated to the Sacred Heart. Starting with zeal, I find myself already sputtering out and going flat. I had promised to set myself apart for holy use, to give my life to divine purpose. And now… ho-hum, befuddled. I’m just not feeling it. So go all devotions, commitments to creativity and vows of love. Losing the sweetness of the spark, dim dullness creeping in, I am tempted to just wander away aimlessly and grope about for some cheaper thrill. Temptation lives in desert spots. But I will not be moved. I will not lose heart. For I know that this path is the way of great saints, artists, lovers… the path of holiness.
Being human, I am bound to be an earthly creature dependent upon this spinning sphere orbiting its sun. The pattern of my life is the ebb and flow of tides, the growth cycle of deciduous trees, the hibernation of bears. The way is not to mourn the ebbs, the winters, or the dormition, but, rather, to feast in the seasons of plenty, gathering up the knowledge and memory of abundance in my heart so as to keep the ember of hope from going out, even when the fire is gone. And so, I am now dutifully preparing a nest of dryness for the kindling of my delight.
Dormant; not forsaken.
Anticipating; not forgetting, not forlorn.
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My mother lights the candles in the growing circle of the Advent wreath and I await rebirth. Maranatha. In the midst of dark December, in the midst of dung and hay, come Lord Jesus, come.
Christina Chase View All
Although crippled by disease, I'm fully alive in love. I write about the terrible beauty and sacred wonder of life, while living with physical disability and severe dependency. A revert to the Catholic faith through atheism, I'm not afraid to ask life's big questions. I explore what it means to be fully human through my weekly blog and have written a book: It's Good to Be Here, published by Sophia Institute Press.
Reblogged this on Divine. Incarnate. and commented:
The process of editing can cause an author to detest her own work. (Yup, speaking from current, personal experience.) Does that mean an author should never be involved in any editing of her work? No, because nobody knows the words of her mind and heart better than she does.
A committed routine of prayer can cause a person of faith to lose desire for religious devotion. Does that mean that a person of faith should never commit to a prayer life? No, because perpetual devotion is the only way to feed and grow her faith. More on that, as well as a reminder for me and other writers out there, in this brief post from December 2013 that has been on my mind of late.
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Temptation lingers in desert spots – true. But what did they wish for, out there in the desert? The fleshpots of Egypt, not a closer walk with God. And when they were in Egypt, they were oppressed so hard they could not stand – yet they’d rather go back to slavery than walk as free men and women with God. Of course spiritual slavery is more subtle than that. Who are the false gods we are tempted to put before the true One?
I’ve been there, Christina. So often I would just about give up. I wish I had these words with me years ago.