just beyond control.
I eat the building passion, stuffed down my throat,
the intensifying energy shooting out my fingers flailing,
hard frequency emitting from brainstem
my eyeballs panic to block. (Anywhere but here.)
Like a switch thrown down
Too late… Too much….
I am done in.
The agony wins
and I am nothing
with no awaiting joy.
My mistake was in seeking control,
was in fighting. When pain is divinely willed,
only surrender of self will bear any fruit.
Although crippled by disease, I'm fully alive in love. I write about the terrible beauty and sacred wonder of life, while living with physical disability and severe dependency. A revert to the Catholic faith through atheism, I'm not afraid to ask life's big questions. I explore what it means to be fully human through my weekly blog, and I've written a book titled It's Good to Be Here, published by Sophia Institute Press.