Denying Ourselves

Some people say that giving up something for Lent is unnecessary. Denying yourself chocolate or soda or sugar in your coffee is not going to make you more holy, they say. The theory is that if these things make you happy and they aren’t sinful, then there’s no need to give them up. There is no need for Lenten deprivation, because God wants us to be happy.

God does want us to be happy, doesn’t He?

Doesn’t He?

It doesn’t sound like God wants us to be happy when we begin Lent with ashes on our foreheads and a reminder that we are dust and to dust we shall return. And aren’t Catholics always told that suffering is good, that the more we sorrow the more we are blessed?

So… does God want us to be happy?

The answer, of course, is yes! God wants us to be happy. Full stop. Because God created us, God knows where our true happiness lies. God knows that chocolate or soda or sugar in your coffee doesn’t make you happy. There is no joy in things. Our truest happiness, our real joy, is profoundly deeper and more lasting. But we can only discover this joy when we peel back the surface layers and get down to the heart of life. Sometimes, physical suffering can do this peeling back, and we see what we really need to survive each day and know joy each day: nutritional sustenance, shelter, and the comforting assistance of someone who loves us. When someone loves you while you are in no condition to do anything for that person in return, you will experience the amazing joy of true love. I know, because I have.

Likewise, acts of self-denial through the Lenten season can reveal to us what matters most, can show us that our happiness is not dependent on things, on pleasures, on stuff. So in almsgiving, we give to the needy out of our own need and not out of our surplus — we give until it hurts. And we clear our days of extra fat and entertaining pleasures, of wasteful calories and self-indulgent hours, so that in this leanness we may have abundant energy to focus on the health of our souls and our relationship with Our Creator. We give up time on social media and devote that time to studying the Bible, reading good books and other writings, or praying. We deny ourselves extra food and give the savings to the poor. We curtail our energies in mere self-indulgence and rather focus our efforts on doing good for our neighbors, near and far.

Is this a big ask? Yes. But Jesus said, “Deny yourselves, take up your cross and follow me.”[i]

Do we think He was kidding?

The end of Lent is the goal of Lent: Easter, Resurrection, the promise of eternal bliss. We do not deny ourselves to look like martyrs, we do not deny ourselves to be morose and self flagellating. We deny ourselves because Jesus told us to — and by believing Him and obeying Him we are thereby led to the heavenly places. There is absolutely nothing in modernity that negates the words of Jesus. People who had far fewer possessions, comforts, conveniences, and luxuries than we have now practiced self-denial during the Lenten season. Most of the people who are reading these words have much more stuff — how does that mean that we should deny ourselves less?

It’s true that not eating sweets for 40 days will not make you holier. But do it anyway, because it just might. Maybe the shock to your system will wake you up to the reality that you really are made from dust and to dust you will return — unless you deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow Christ to never ending joy.

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In the spirit of prioritizing efforts, I will be posting on my blog once a month going forward, on the first Thursdays (or Fridays) of each month. Although I do believe that these reflections here are my own small acts of self giving, I simply don’t have the time or energy to post often and complete my second book. (As well as work on a third, a fourth, and maybe a fifth, God willing.) Thank you for understanding and thank you for your prayers! I am praying that you all have a blessed Lent.

© 2026 Christina Chase

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Feature Photo by Jr Korpa on Unsplash

[i] see Matthew 16:24